The Adventures of Flannel Man: Part 1
One fine morning in the African Safari, mild-mannered Steve Stevenson was sipping his herbal tea whilst studying for the GRE. His chosen major: French Studies with a focus on the Baguette Uprising of 1312.
Unbeknownst to Steve, a wild Giraffe, the most feared and ferocious beast in the animal kingdom, was menacingly lurking nearby…
Enraged by the herbal aroma of Steve’s tea, the giraffe was galvanized into a malicious frenzy and leapt into attack!
But little did our long-necked, quadrupedal antagonist know, mild-mannered Steven Stevenson was not mild-mannered at all! In fact, he is…FLANNEL MAN!
Armed with his mighty Flasso O’ Truth (a lasso made entirely of flannel shirts), our hero turned the tables on his spotted, cloven-footed adversary.
Once snared in the Flasso O’ Truth, the magical fibers burrow deep within the victim and prevent any chance of duplicity. “What is it you seek, Giraffe, that led you to so rudely interrupt my tea time?” demanded Flannel Man with a gruff and manly disposition. The giraffe ruminated deeply on the matter, and arrived swiftly at a most excellent conclusion…
“I wish I had a flannel shirt to wear… it gets so cold in the jungle at night.”
And so Flannel Man adorned the once-naked giraffe in a prized Levis flannel, not too vintage; not too modern.
And this day was sung from mountain tops for years to come. All was well in the Safari.
